Saturday, November 5, 2011

This one is personal...

I've been spiritually empty and dry for a while now (a few months at least). And I have felt very trapped in this desert. It started due to circumstances and I've stayed as a result of my stubborn pride (pride is so ugly). I haven't spent adequate time in the Word because it has been so frustrating (Isaiah 59:2 "But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear."). But last night Brett was reading his Bible before we started our movie so I picked mine up as well. It fell open to Psalms so I turned to Psalm 51 (I guess partly because it's familiar, but mostly because God had a personal word for me). Verses 10-12 quickly became the cry of my heart. Psalm 51:10-12 "Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit." Psalm 51:10-12 My heart and mind began to sing Keith Green's song "Create in me a Clean Heart" (or in the words of some - "create in me a glee-hah":). I felt somewhat renewed...and exhausted. This morning I opened the Word to Psalm 118. Once again God had a personal word just for me in verse 5. Psalm 118:5 "I called on the Lord in distress; the Lord answered me and set me in a broad place." Psalm 118:5 Broad? What? That probably would not have spoken to me in the past (in fact I had previously underlined the verses before and after it, but had skipped underlining verse 5). But a "broad place"? This morning a "broad place" sounded liberating, freeing! I've felt trapped in a bad place, stuck where I don't want to be, unable to escape this desert. A "broad place" sounds fresh & cool. I'm not sure if this means that I've left the desert completely (I'm guessing not quite yet), but it gave me a breath of fresh air...a cool drink when I thought I might not make it another step without one. It gave me a glimmer of hope. And hope is addictive. I'm pretty sure that I'll be reading and seeking more and begging God for another word for me...from Him. Cause I need it...daily.

1 comment:

  1. I love you. This is good stuff. The real stuff. More of Him and less of me.